Love Makes a Fool of Us

This songs takes me back instantly to, believe it or not, happier times. They were not happy but happier because at least there was still hope back then. Don't get me wrong there is still hope now but almost time for me to face reality. How is it that normally sane people would do such insane things in the name of love? How is it that these feelings could be so intense? How is it that a strong person could become so weak in the presence of love? I am beaten.

There is no energy left in me to live life. Nothing interests me except for travelling. And even that is a means of escaping the meaninglessness of it all. Travelling offers a rush that aliviates the pain for awhile. And because of that I've been off pursuing that rush like a woman gone mad. I will continue to do so for as long as there is this void in me. It is true you know, every woman that I've met on the road travelling alone has a story to tell. More often than not it involves disappointment of the heart. This doesn't exclude me.

When the first love of my life ended, I took it hard and went travelling. Now this one, is it love? Or should I say, was it love? I don't know. Think so. I loved him and I love him still. I love the person that I know him to be. We have only met a couple of times more than a year ago. When between then and now that I fell in love? When was it that love came into this whole equation?

What is love?

This question is often asked and already in my blogs, many times. It continues to delude me. Love is when I cannot imagine living without the other in my life. Love is when I can trust the other with everything I have, with everything in me. Love is trusting the other enough to totally surrender yourself. I want to. And I was ready to give him all of myself. Maybe it was only an illusion in my head. Sadness is in my heart and my soul. It continues to fill every part of my waking day.